Sunday 24 July 2016

Other ways teachers could put their skills to use

As a teacher, you build up many skills you hadn't thought about when you signed up for this profession. Here are some other ways you could put your new skills to use:

1. Poker shark: You've seen and heard things that would cause a non-teacher to crack a smile and give the game away. You've had too many times where a child has done/said something absolutely hilarious while breaking the rules and you have had to put on your poker face and reprimand them before you escape to the bathroom and let all the laughter out. This would make you an ideal candidate for playing poker. You'd be the best bluffer at the table.

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2. Acting: "Is this for me? Oh you shouldn't have!" Then, trying not to wince at the unusual object, "You really shouldn't have!"
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3. Criminal (fraud): Think of all that time you've spent, carefully slicing up bits of paper and gluing them back together to create differentiated worksheets that look almost identical. If you decided to turn to the dark side, what better way to use these skills than to create counterfeit documents?
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4. Witch doctor: You have learned how to fix all manner of ailments with "alternative" cures and mumbling of words. You know the true power of a wet paper towel, "rub your tummy three times" or "drink some water." You also have an innate understanding of when somebody requires NO CURE AT ALL!
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5. Referee/mediator: Need I elaborate?
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6. Historian: Not only are you fantastic at scavenging through the archaeological site that is your pocket or handbag, you're fantastic at deciphering strange markings on paper that appears on your desk.
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7. Interior designer: All those hours you've spent changing displays and organising your classroom has given you a great eye for the aesthetic.
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8. Competitive eater: How many times have you had to inhale your lunch so you could go on yard duty? Unbeknownst to yourself you've been training for the speed eating olympics all along.
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9. Photocopier technician: You know more tricks than the average person to try and coax that photocopier back to life again. 
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